They'd come to mosque together as they always did, staying near one another and talking before Jay went to his separate row up front, as they were early.

"--I'm thinking next time I ought to bring my guitar in, maybe see if I can play there since they have an open mic night. Although I want you to hear the songs I want to play first, when we get back to the school."

They weren't doing or saying anything inappropriate, but there was something very evident about them by they they were in each other's personal space, the furtive glances.

pluck the rubab strings,
i feel the sands shift in my chest
and an ancient wind breezes in,
warm and calm, and blessed.

she walks veiled in black
leaving footprints made of sand
ones that come, wind or high water,
will not be wiped clean, and

spent nine lives, in the past
this cat's seen its day
but a new sun comes undone
a line to lead those've lost the way.

she walks veiled in black
leaving footprints made of sand
ones that come, wind or high water,
will not be wiped clean, and

i stand alone, breathing in
a black sky dark and cold,
but dawn will break, make no mistake,
as the old tube radio plays the songs of old.

love walks veiled in black
leaving footprints made of sand
ones that come, wind or high water,
will not be wiped clean, and
love walks veiled in black
the jury's gone to rest
an ancient wind, breezes in.
warm and calm, and blessed.

Why is it that apparently, other than to Sooraya, and I guess Cessily, since she hasn't said anything yet, I'm the Hellions' Public Enemy Number 1 right now?

Since when has it been a crime to go out with a girl after she's broken up with someone? Especially knowing there's a few cads in this school that'd take advantage of the fact that she was in a bad spot? I figured better me than someone else. And me and Sofia both talked about it from the start and knew it wasn't going to last, she asked me out. We had a grand ol' time, and it was hardly more than just two friends going out to have fun, which I certainly didn't mind.

I was Safe. Someone she could lean on when she pulled herself together and to cheer her up a bit, make her feel like she was special enough for someone to care about her since someone else made her feel disposable. Even though I knew that someone she chose wasn't going to be me. I went in knowing that, that I'd be cast aside, but that's okay. We both just needed someone to lean on for a bit.

My family doesn't have "whore" issues. (My sister's business is her own, and I don't see how she's any more in the wrong for dating an older man than that older man would be for dating a younger woman. I just see it as not my business. For my part, I've been at this school, what, over a year now? And Sofia's the first girl I've gone out with. I'm pretty sure there's rumors by now I'm gay or something, especially since there's been no lack of opportunity).

I'm a gentleman and unlike some people, I always treat a lady like a gentleman should.

That includes just friends, too, like Sooraya. I don't have a crush on her or anything. It's something I generally just...gloss over in my brain. I try not to go in that direction, or give it any thought, because I know that's the whole point of the hijab--and the niqab--that fellas treat her like a person instead of a piece of meat.

Those who harass believing men and believing women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) A calumny and a grievous sin. O Prophet! Enjoin your wives, your daughters, and the wives of true believers that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad) That is most convenient, that they may be distinguished and not be harassed.

And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Qur'an 33:58-59

That is a big sign that says "I want to be treated like just another person" so I'm damn well going to obey it.

It also isn't a 'tool of male dominance and oppression' , Nori, . It CAN be used as one, but if she's choosing it, it's just a different way of saying all that instead of having to actually say it. A non-verbal "Eyes up here."

So even if I ever DID like her, I'd still not say or do anything about it, because that's what's respectful, and also I'd know I haven't got an ice cube's chance in hell because while Muslim men can marry upright "People of the Book" (Jews or Christians), Muslim woman can only marry Muslim men. (And yes, I looked that up. I looked everything I could look up about what was appropriate behavior towards her from the male end, way back when we first met, so I didn't do anything that offended her).

So that's that. I know some of y'all can't even conceive of a fella just wanting to talk or being around a girl without wanting to get somewhere with her, and if I didn't understand reality, and recognize that they're your friends and there are plenty of nasty males out there who're the conniving sort, and you're just watching out for said friends, I'd say that was more reflective of you instead of me. But regardless, get off my damn case and stop harassing me when I talk to my friends. Yes, they happen to mostly be girls. I'm not into sports and a lot of the stuff most of the other guys in this school are.

My interest in the other sex, and sex in general right now is damn close to being nil, and I got a damn good--and private--reason for it.

I'm not so used to this online journal kinda thing and I'm going to keep some things still in my paper one since they're too personal, but I figure everyone else has one so I might as well, too. (Seems kind of silly to me though since if we all want to tell one another something, we live in the same school).

But anyway, my sister has, thankfully, snapped out of the thing from the love potion, which is a relief. My friend Manuelo always joked that for us Guthries, the males can get a gal pregnant just by standing a few feet upwind of her, and the girls can get get pregnant just by bumping into a boy, and I used to get mad at him for joking about it, but I'm inclined to believe it.

Sofia broke up with me, but I'm all right with that. Whole point of it was for both of us to have a good time and get back on our feet, and I think we're better friends now. She's still going to teach me to dance.

Sooraya and I got to talking about religion and faith and whatnot the other day, and that's got me thinking a lot about God and whether I believe in him or not. I have a bit of soul-searching to do.

Oh, and I wrote a new song. I'm going to play it at the Grindstone next week. This one's a little less "Enya," because I'm trying for a harder edge to my music. Not that I'm going to stop the mushier stuff, but there should only be certain songs that sound like that and if all of 'em do, the special ones won't sound as special.

That's about it. I'm pretty darn boring.